After much exhaustive and meticulous research (less than fifteen minutes on Google), I’ve decided that Congressman Anthony Weiner not only represents perhaps the most popular double entendre of our political times but with all certainty must resign his position in the House of Representatives. Even Barbara Walters has come out publicly and stated the latest leaked photo of his “junk” is impressive. I have been unable to remove this visual and years of therapy may prove to be worthless. Therefore as a concerned citizen, I must insist that Weiner stop removing his briefs and instead be removed from office. To say Weiner has hit rock bottom is an understatement. There’s only one way to go now and that’s up. (Wait it was up. That was the problem) He is in desperate need of a rescue shaft. (See double entendre) Perhaps he has just now realizing that the most intellectual profound influence on his mental development has been Looney Tunes Pepe Le Pew.
What exactly is the job description of a U.S. Congressman? “Must be well endowed and willing to expose said endowment by posting the occasional photo of genitalia to constituents in exchange for an exorbitant salary; an expense account envied by the likes of Warren Buffet, the ability to rub shoulders and other body parts apparently with co-workers and complete strangers; all the while maintaining the perception of family man, world leader and overall good guy; sexting is an asset;familiarization with social media a must.”
If you have what it takes to be New York’s next sexting congressman, post your resume and several photos of your shirtless self by twitter or text to Facebook and be sure you include close-ups of that ripped chest and bulge in your underpants. No need to explain your background. A picture’s worth a thousand words.
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