Lately, going to the movies is my favourite thing to do. In my defence, I must admit while movies can be most entertaining, they can also be enlightening, life-changing and educational. Just this week I went to see both True Grit and Blue Valentine. Did you know for instance, placing a rope around your sleeping area in the woods will deter snakes? The thought being the snake would think the rope was another snake or a log and thus go around it. Interestingly enough, cowboys rarely suffered from snake bites. Life-saving information if you ask me.
Blue Valentine taught me that even though someone may be drop dead gorgeous, jacked and a cunning linguist, with no high-school diploma; the mind-set of a two-year old and a breakfast staple of an eight ounce Budweiser, the expected length of the relationship with that person will be no greater than five years max.
The Tourist enticed me to visit Venice. Buried made me think cremation is the way to go. The Social Network showed me Harvard will accept any @sshole willing to pay the price of tuition.
Life always seems so perfect in the movies. One routinely gets the parking spot right out in front of the building; the correct fare for the cab is right there in your hands without even looking; no one ever suffers a concussion when hit with a blunt instrument; and almost all cars that crash ultimately burst into flames.
Sure I spend too much time staring at the big screen but what’s the worst that can happen? I choke on the popcorn while lmao? I can deal with that.
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