How can you tell if someone really likes your Christmas gift? How do you react when the gift just sucks? It would be rude to say nothing so I have devised a list of responses that could assist you in hiding your true feelings and sparing those of the giver. Say your spouse gives you a thigh master. (Just making sure I have a captive audience.) Say he gives you a vacuum cleaner. Now a vacuum cleaner is fine if it is in fact something you’ve requested from Santa. Personally, getting one for Christmas just sucks. (In more ways than one) Respond by saying, “You shouldn’t have. Really, you shouldn’t have.” Then deal with it later on with your therapist. The gift of a vacuum from a spouse tells me you may already be dealing with a therapist, if not now, then soon, very soon.
“Where on earth did you find this?” Is much better than responding, “WTF” and is a perfectly viable response especially to a gift with no discernable utility or benefit or clue for that matter as to what it actually is.
Receiving a fruitcake simply says this person really doesn’t like you. Respond at will. Better yet, regift the fruitcake to the same person the following Christmas. Fruitcakes last forever. Seriously, are they even edible? I think technically they are a construction material and a damn good one at that.
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