Tochophopia

A report out of Britain claims a fear of giving birth, or tochophobia, is on the rise. Many women now ready to become mothers are beginning to realize how little they know about the actual birthing process to which I say going in blind may be your best option. Some things are best left unsaid but if you insist...............

Labour pains are indescribable. Many have attempted to explain the pain of contractions to first time expectant moms. Some describe labour as the most intense pain they have ever experienced while others downgrade it to a mere cramp. These are the liars and the lucky ones. It is however, simple physics. Something as large as a watermelon is trying to get through an area no larger than an orange (if completely dilated). Any woman who has ever given birth deserves to be listed in the Guinness Book of World Records.

So now an Edmonton mother and doula is introducing a line of dolls that will give birth to a baby doll. Yes this ought to help adults experience the birthing process. The dolls are called MamAmor, created out of woven fabric and each one comes with a baby inside, which emerges through an elastic vaginal opening and has a woven umbilical cord and placenta. It’s all very civilized. To get the true effect, the creator might want to solicit some creative advice from the likes of Stephen King to make the experience more authentic. The movie Carrie comes to mind but the birthing process has way more blood.

If you need more graphics just try pulling your lower lip over your head. That ought to do it.