I entered a Sun Media advice columnists contest back in April. I was always doling out advice anyway so I thought I would give it a shot. I was sure I would be a shoe in. Each day I would arrive at work and quickly get to work formulating my advice to the dilemma of the day. Your roommate is stealing your things? My advice: Get rid of Bonnie Parker. Boyfriend forgot your birthday? My advice: Get over it. When God created man he overestimated his ability. Cheated on your pregnant wife? My advice: Die you rotten bastard. To this day I still don't understand how I wasn't selected. Too subtle maybe?
This was the second time Sun Media held the advice columnist contest. Sadly, I was a two time loser. But imagine my delight, I mean surprise, when Sun Media declared they were temporarily halting the advice column after learning the winning columnist used material published by another source. I do believe this is referred to as plagiarism, the highest form of flattery. So I quickly sent off an e-mail offering up my services to replace the disgraced dirty disher. I did receive a very prompt reply thanking me for my offer but the paper had already found a suitable replacement. DAMN! Not once, twice, but three times a loser. And I loathe you. I loathe you. (Couldn’t resist.)
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