If I Only Had a Job

Like a lot of Torontonians, I left this fine city to spend Thanksgiving with family in and around Ottawa. It's good to get out of town for a few days. You get to see things you wouldn't normally see in Toronto like clear skies; the big dipper and a Giant Tiger store. And you get to listen to different radio stations. We were tuned into Live 88.5 SPANK Toronto. The announcer told a really funny joke. "What do you call a smart person in Toronto?" The answer: A tourist. At first I thought it was really funny because you know I'm not a tourist. I'm a resident. But then I realized it wasn't about me (Seriously, how would that announcer even know I was in Ottawa?) It was then I realized the radio dj was being facetious and in fact was not a big fan of Toronto. I think he may have company too. So I am going to make it my mission to win these people over. What Toronto needs is a good advertising campaign to change the perception some folks may hold regarding this fine city. What Toronto needs is Don Draper and the marketing firm of Sterling Cooper Draper & Pyrce. I'll work on that.

So I am back in Toronto and back to my job of finding a job. I thought I would write a little jingle about that. I title it "Why Can't I Find a Job". (to the tune of "If I Only Had a Brain" which incidentally has nothing to do with me not finding a job.)

"Why Can't I Find a Job"

I spend my days just sleepin, when sad I start a weepin,
I've turned into a slob.
Yes my head I am scratchin, wonderin why there's nothin happenin
Oh why can't I find a job?

I've applied to every openin, it's true I'm not a jokin,
They must think I'm a knob.
With the thoughts I am thinkin, I am slow but surly sinkin
Oh why can't I find a job?