Today I came across an article, "How to become a real New Yorker." According to a How I Met Your Mother episode, once you've seen Woody Allen; cried on the subway without caring; stolen the cab of someone who needs it more than you; and squashed a cockroach with your bare hands, you qualify. So this got me thinking. How does one become a real Torontonian? Having lived elsewhere for most of my life and having lived in Toronto all of three whole months and 12 days, I can only compare. So here goes.
Be a bad driver. It goes without saying Torontonians are bad behind the wheel. Drivers cut people off; don't signal; are always in a rush; and exhibit all the signs and symptoms of road rage. To which I say check; check; check; and check.
Be rude. I've also noticed that people here refuse to give directions; pedestrians think they own the sidewalk and again drivers would sooner run down a cyclist then share the road with them. Oh wait that's me. But in my defence how am I to give directions when I don't know where anything is?
Be in a bubble. Outsiders will tell you compared to Bounty, only Torontonians could be more self-absorbed. As children, parents must have really instilled the warning "don't talk to strangers" because as adults they are really good at this one. Just try making eye contact on the subway. And having worked at the TIFF box office I can personally vouch for this final observation. Torontonians are notorious for cutting in line. You see a friend. You start chatting it up. Next thing you know that guy is ahead of the 50 other folks who have spent hours in the elements. This is so high school and so Toronto. But hey, they're in a hurry.
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