The "Comeback" Kid

I've been watching a lot of movies lately what with TIFF being in town and the installation of my new cable carrier, Bell. Not to mention my "situation" has not changed in two years. (no I have not grown a six pack or joined the cast of Jersey Shore or had a baby...congrats to Snookie!) Apparently the fact that I am unemployable is not that uncommon.  Indeed, I am among the 20% of people over 50 who have stopped looking for work. We are referred to as "disgruntled". I didn't need to be without employment to be labelled that.  Hey, I'm old. I already have enough to be pissed off about.

 Over 50 and Out of Work

Just recently, I resigned from a volunteer position. With a mere week to go in my term, my work ethic went from "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" to "enough is enough" and I threw in the proverbial towel.  I walked out without a word being said.  Looking back, I so wish I had the opportunity to get some things off my chest.  That perfect retort that could not go unnoticed or be misconstrued in any way.  You know like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator, "Hasta la vista, baby!"  Then I would walk away in a fog of smoke into the sunset. No regrets or asking myself, "Why didn't I say that?" Alas, this only happens in the movies.

It would have been so cool to have some great comebacks to express my disappointment.  Some of those all too perfect lines found in your favourite films to silence the opposition rather than take the high road.  Who am I kidding?  I've mapquested the high road and it does not exist which is why I never, ever take it.

How cool would it have been to just get up and say, "You come 'round here again, and I'm gonna get discourteous on your ass" and just like that I would get up and be Gone, Baby Gone.  So cool, right? Wow, if only life were like that.

So now friends have convinced me to attend the annual dinner and I have, with much apprehension, reluctantly agreed. But why would I put my friends in the awkward position of having to defend me by uttering throughout the evening, "You'll have to excuse her.  She suffers from selective tourettes".  Like when I inevitably say to a certain someone, and I'm paraphrasing here of course, that great line from The Sixth Sense, "I see lazy people."  Or should a happenstance encounter with spontaneous combustible guy cause me to act out a scene from Million Dollar Baby or Raging Bull or Rocky I, II, III, IV, or V, over and over and over again.  And will I once again shake my head and ask Miss Hilly, "You sho you need help with that?"  C'mon! Who am I kidding?  The light at the end of the tunnel is the oncoming imminent train wreck.