You know the familiar colloquialism, “It ain’t over till the fat lady sings.” Well she didn’t sing but it’s over just the same. Oprah bid adieu after 25 years of celebrity butt kissing guests, audience giveaways, aha moments and so, so advice.
She didn’t really go out with a bang either. It was more like a Sunday sermon and the church had just been painted. You found yourself just watching and waiting for the paint to dry. Oprah preached that her show was her calling and let that be a lesson to us all. Discover what makes you happy in life and work at achieving that goal. This, she said, will bring you life’s fulfillment.
Yes, she made it sound so simple. It was like the secret. Remember the secret? The power of positive thinking influences a person’s life and real world outcomes. I remember when I first read it (someone gave it to me because I was so grumpy) I wished to be irresistible to people and all of a sudden I have this incredible personality. Of course it was also right around the time I left my job and moved cities and didn’t see any of the people I seemed to irritate on a daily basis but nevertheless I was like a new puppy. Irresistible to all. I couldn’t shake it. So I’m thinking this shit really works. Wait there’s more. So one night I’m sitting down to dinner and wishing I had a nice Chardonnay to go along with it and sure enough, my spouse comes strolling in with a vintage, 14.5% alcohol per volume (my fav) oak flavoured, buttery California, I’m guessing somewhere around the Napa Valley Region, Chardonnay. But who cares. How did he know? It’s the secret right? Sure he’s lived with me for the last 26 years and knows I drink nothing but Chardonnay but how did he know I was completely out? Spooky right?
Reality is from now on I’m not going to have Oprah around to tell me I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And gosh darn it, people like me. Who will fill her shoes? At this moment in time, the clerk at the nearest LCBO is a good substitute.
I wrote this piece eons ago when asked by my writing professor to use the word “gossamer” in a poem. Truth is, I secretly always wanted to be a guest of Oprah. Gossameresque
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