Happy "Birth" Day

There was an article in the Toronto Star, "Six things you need to know about giving birth." And I immediately thought really, only six things? This article was evidently written by an expert and author of the following books: The Mother of All Pregnancy Books, The Mother of All Baby Books, The Mother of All Toddler Books, The Mother of All Parenting Books, Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler, Mealtime Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler, and Body Talk. Quite the resume. I did a little research and discovered like myself, this author has indeed given birth to four children. But unlike me I would have titled this piece, "Giving Birth? Good luck with that!"

But people tend to gravitate towards lists. Clear and concise is what we seek. Forbes lists; craigslist; to do lists; best and worst dress lists. My point is, and I do have one, if someone can come up with just six things for giving birth they had better include epidurals; kegal exercises; and some literature on contraceptives. I'm just saying.

So this list of six included the following:
(1) Allow someone to keep track of how long it's taking your cervix to dilate so you can focus on other things like, and I am quoting directly from the source, "the river of relaxation."
If I may quote from Facebook , LMFAO!
(2) Let your body do the work.
I say just try and stop it.
(3) Partners need help preparing for birth.
I say preparation should include the definition and use of any and all of the following; forceps, vacuums, tongs and the jaws of life.
(4) The birthing environment matters.
You're damn right it does and if your tolerance for pain lies somewhere between toe stubbing and root canal, I strongly suggest a hospital birthing room with an experienced, around-the-clock on duty anesthetist. You may very well name your child after this person.
(5) Birth is a journey you ultimately make on your own.
Try not to offend the sperm donor on this one.
(6) You will forever be changed by the experience of giving birth.
Totally agree on this one. The article states; "Decades after giving birth women can still recall intimate details." To this day I cannot look at a stirrup without cringing. Horseback riding is out of the question. Thanks for the memories.