Whine? Whine Not?

I whine. I am a whiner. Whining is not a very attractive attribute to be sure yet it is one that has served me well on many an occasion. Thing is, I’m not a big fan of whining from myself or others and yet I totally sympathize with the plight of the whiner. The most recent case in point being the so called ‘whining’ of Hillary Clinton. Hillary had accused the media of giving Barack Obama a free press pass and pointed out to the moderators at the February 27th presidential debate that she seems to get the first question at not just that debate but several debates."Well, can I just point out that in the last several debates, I seem to get the first question all the time? And I don't mind," Hillary said, clearly minding.
Whoa!. The press were all over that one. It would seem the long and whining road to the Whitehouse as well as hell is paved with good intentions. War is hell. Now too is whining. Hillary’s whining way may in fact prevent her from winning. Winning the nomination is Hillary’s job. But is Hillary in fact whining or is she suffering from PTED? PTED or Post Traumatic Embitterment Disorder is a psychological condition. People who gripe about their jobs evidently suffer from PTED according to researchers at the University of Berlin. So is Hillary whining or is she sick? Enter Saturday Night Live to her rescue to parody the entire debate and put the kibosh to the whole episode. All’s well that ends well.
But what if you aren’t the democratic nominee and you are labeled a whiner for defending yourself. Several years of therapy might help but once cured, what then? Whining is a way of life for many of us. We whiners know of no other way to get our own way.
Allow me to introduce what is certain to be the overwhelming choice of a future Oprah Book Club selection. The Pocket Companion for Whining. The first and only book of its kind. Well, more like a work in progress whining for dummies.
Consider this. Years of therapy have relieved you of your constant whining. Is it considered whining if you read it in a reference book of whines? If a whine falls from the pages of a self-help book, does anybody care?
Your partner inadvertently forgets your anniversary. Turn to chapter three, "Important Dates" and under missed anniversaries you will find, "You don’t love me anymore!" Remember that one? Oh the memories.
Or say you find yourself suffering from seasonal affect disorder due to a lengthy, bitter cold winter. Not to worry. Chapter five, "Have Whine, Will Travel", is chock full of your old time favorites. My personal favorite uttered routinely in mid-February "I want to go to Florida!"
Oh, the good old days. Or take chapter six, Whine and the Single Girl. "The good ones are either gay or taken.", an all time classic.
As a student of Rene Descartes may I be so bold as to say, I whine, therefore I am.
Whiners of the world take heart. Coming to a Chapters near you. ( once I stop whining about all the work involved in writing about whining) Stay tuned.