Bless Me Father For I Have Sinned

Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been one full year since my last full-time job. These are my sins. Forgive me for not writing regularly on my blog. I am deeply disturbed by the fact that some consider a blog to be nothing more than graffiti with punctuation. I beg to differ. Good grammar is involved as well. In addition, I may or may not have been completely truthful when completing my EI reports. For instance.

Did I move during the period of this report? Did I move? It's because all I ever fucking do is move that I find myself in this position in the first place. When purchasing a house the realtor will tell you it's location, location, location. One is eligible for EI because of relocation, relocation, relocation.

Did I start a fulltime job during the period of this report? Yeah. This is why I am wasting my time and completing the report because I am so busy working. Give your head a shake.

Did I attend a school or training course during the period of this report? You can't teach an old dog new tricks. Tricks are for kids. Apparently, so too are jobs.

Was I ready, willing and able to work during the period of this report? Are you kidding me? I am so ready for work and more willing than a hypersexual. Am I able? Of course I am but to a prospective employer I'm damaged goods; faulty merchandise. antiquated; all washed up. More washed up than a kindergarten class with a bunch of 4 year olds plagued with pinworms. Washed up I tell you.

Did you or will you receive any other money during the period of this report? NO! and this is the God's honest truth. Call me on the other stuff. Other than the occasional change I find underneath the couch cushions EI is it.

And so help me God, I solemnly swear to be ready, willing and able to seek employment while visiting Florence, Siena, Volterra and Lucca. I will be a wine taster, art critic, air marshal (undercover of course) and official ambassador to Italy. So help me God!

In conclusion, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Or is it let he who is cast out be the first to get stoned? I'm with Dylan on this one. Everybody must get stoned.