My Mneumonic Plague

There was a time when a simple string wrapped around a finger served as the only means necessary of jogging ones memory.  Often times  I'd be decked out with so much string you'd swear I was a puppeteer.     Then post its came along.  That's when yellow became the new hue.   My work station would be festooned with constant reminders.  Prepare for audit.  Send memo regarding overtime.  Dental appointment Tuesday at 10 am.  Note to self:  floss! floss! floss!  That would be plaque not plague. 

Well I'm not getting any younger and my retention skills, like my youth,  are fading fast.  Take networking.  The moment I am introduced to anyone, their name, like Houdini or the punch line of a really good joke, immediately escapes me.  I've tried enlisting the use of the alphabet.  Many times these 26 letters have  rescued me from my rusty recollection skills.  Like the other evening when I tried to recall the title of that Woody Allen movie about a man, who much like all of us, had a desire to fit in and be liked.  I was playing twenty questions with my friends.  "You know.  He takes on the characteristics of strong personalities.  He's like a human chameleon."   And no it's not a politician although technically, I believe chameleon to be a pre requisite for the job of politician."  Unfortunately the movie in question was Zelig.  How embarrassing for me it was only when I got to Z that the neurons started firing.   That can be a problem when relying on the alphabet system of recall. 

 As a "mature" student, I would often enlist the help of mnemonics, a simple strategy that can make memorization a much easier undertaking, or so they say. Take the mathematical constant pi (Greek letter “π”) for instance- the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter — which is approximately 3.1415926.  NOW, with its 3 letters, represents the first number.   The phrase,"NOW I NEED A DRINK, ALCOHOLIC OF COURSE"  thus represents the first 8 digits in sequence.   Simple,  n'est pas?  Thing is, I use that phase on a daily basis.  Hell, it's my mantra.  Now if I could only remember when and why I would ever use pi.  The only pi I am remotely interested in ends in an "e" and is preferably apple.  Perhaps not the best example. 

We have all used mnemonics at one time or another.  HOMES reminded us of the names of the great lakes-Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie and Superior.  I before E except after C is also a mnemonic.  There are a few exceptions of course like  atheist, beige, being, caffeine, counterfeit, eight, either, feisty, foreign, forfeit, freight, height, kaleidoscope, leisure, meiosis, neither nuclei, protein, sleigh, surveillance, their, veil, vein, weird, zein....This is a really stupid rule. 

You know what's even more stupid are the things I do remember.   I, like many a woman scorned,  have the uncanny ability to remember every rotten comment, slight, look, stare, back stabbing, low down, nasty, irresponsible negative comment anyone has ever said to me or about me (and Rafa Nadal).  It's a gift.  Well actually, it's the gift that keeps on giving like contagions and fruit cake.   I've  defriended many a Facebook follower as a result. 

Like the  in-law family Christmas calendar-circa 1998, featuring an all inclusive of those that mattered  including "good ole" boyfriends and family pets but somehow yours truly was MIA.  What is it they say?  A picture's worth a 1000 words?  What would a non inclusive picture be worth?  Years of resentment comes to mind.  Funny the things you remember are some of the very things you'd prefer to forget.  Like that time I woke up wearing what I ate.  I would truly like to forget that moment in my life. 

Let's face it, the older we get, the more difficult it becomes to remember.  In my mother's day they (my elders) referred to this phenomenon as  "hardening of the arteries" and salt was apparently the culprit.   As a kid, I was simply grateful  this affliction was age discriminatory even though at the time I do not think I could even spell discriminatory.  Heck, I sprinkled salt on my salted potato chips.   They said what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger.  Salt by that standard, should qualify me as a circus strong man sideshow freak.     

Song lyrics, historical speeches, and phone numbers pose no threat to my memory bank.  I have literally stood before the Lincoln Memorial and recited the Gettysburg address for many a foreign visitor.  Impressive, eh?  Sadly,  with all other things, it's all in the timing.  You can ask me who played Hannibal in the television series and I will tell you I saw that actor at tennis city in Toronto.  He was exceptionally good in the movie After the Wedding and he hails from Denmark and was also in A Royal Affair.  He's  the same guy in Casino Royale whose eye bled while playing cards with that hunk of a man playing agent James Bond,  double 07, Daniel Craig.  And he's my spouse's favourite actor.  Yes, I could tell you all of this, yet I couldn't tell you his name if my life depended on it which, by the way, favours me.   Luckily there's always something, that one thing that will eventually  jog my memory.  In this instance, a crossword clue presented itself, "author of Far From the Madding Crowd."  And there it was on the tip of my tongue, Mads Mikkelsen.  And just like that (two days later), I have my answer.   Three days later, Thomas Hardy came to me.  It was April 6, 2014.  (I Googled it) The news of Mickey Rooney's passing  was announced.   The mind works in mysterious ways.  Work with me people.