Billy Crystal’s character as Fernando Lamas had a very unique catchphrase. “Remember, it is better to look good than to feel good”. Apparently, during the winter months at least, the looking good part takes priority and is highly encouraged.
Maybe there is something to Weekend at Bernie’s. If it’s the desire to look your best while feeling your worst, dead or alive, a little make-up and the ability to sit up straight, on our own or with the assistance of a two by four, can go a long way. If your goal is to simply fake a healthier look, hell a little foundation, moisturizer, concealer, luminizer, tanning booth and blush is all that is required. Ding-dong, Avon calling.
Make-up, Botox and cellulite sucking machines will also help one look healthier but for those of us without the financial capacity, here are a few free and simple ways to at least look healthy even though you may feel like crap. Hang out with the homely looking crowd. You know the unibrow guy; folks whose hair hasn’t been washed in weeks and it looks as though they may have company; and those male or female, who definitely shouldn’t be seen in public without a bra or manzier.
While shopping for groceries, choose items from the perimeter of the store only. You don’t necessarily need to eat these items but allow people to at least think you do. Get someone you trust to pick up the staples of your diet; Twinkies, Joe Louis’s, wine gummies and pizza pockets.
Oh and wear the latest in Lulu Lemon, bike shorts, a good pair of running shoes and carry a helmet. It’s a good idea to look like you workout. Hey, nothing like walking through an airport carrying a tennis racket. Look at me. I’m Milos Raonic. It’s best to look like you workout even when you don’t. And never stop talking about your phantom exercise routine, just like those who actually exercise and never tire of letting you know about theirs.
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