Monday, March 7, 2011

A Rose By Any Other Name

So yesterday I give the Charlie Sheen saga my best shot and the only comment it ignites, “Oprah Chopra, funny”. Thanks btw. So in keeping with the theme of funny names and for lack of meaningful subject matter, as usual, I give you “The Name Game”.

If today show host Hoda Kotb married actor Abe Vigoda she’d be Hoda Vigoda but not for long. He’s like 90.

If Janet Jackson were to marry civil rights activist Jesse Jackson she would be known as Janet Jackson. I think they may both be committing bigamy though.

If Madonna married Mickey Rooney, divorced him and married Andy Rooney, then divorced him and married Andy Jackson, divorced him and married Jackson Pollack, she’d be known as Madonna.

If Elizabeth Taylor were to marry Taylor Swift, the ceremony would have to take place in either Connecticut; D.C.; Iowa; Massachusetts, New Hampshire, or Vermont or anywhere in Canada. But if Taylor Swift were to marry James Taylor she could get married anywhere in the world.

If Coco Chanel were to marry James Coco and keep her maiden name, she would be Coco Chanel.

If Kirk Cameron were to marry Cameron Diaz, Alex Rodriguez might get jealous.

Can you imagine if Buddy Holly and Holly Hunter married? That would be a miracle.

If Yoko Ono had married Sonny Bono she would have broken up Sonny and Cher instead of the Beatles.

Do you suppose Paris Hilton gets the Paris Hilton’s mail?

Remember when Prince changed his name to The Artist Formerly Known as Prince? I hated Purple Rain after that.




OK I’m done.

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